You’ve come after so long. Hello, I’m Mamta didi. Professionally, I’m parlour didi. Personally, I am like your mother. Every girl is same hairy, fat, and blackhead. I have to give it to you, god has given you hella guts. Your ingrown hairs also shy away from showing themselves, but you go around just like that. Didi, I don’t want to cut my hair today. Okay, no problem. Your hair is quite broken anyway, even male ego seems to be sturdier than your hair. Babu, what have you done to your eyebrows? You look like a low budget Priya Varrier. ♪ Dirty eyebrows, but the girl is gutsy ♪ ♪ She’s come back with a face that shitty♪ ♪ Someone cover her ♪ ♪ Someone cover her ♪ Your face has so many potholes, Malishka has dedicated a song for it. ♪ Srishti, don’t you believe in facials ♪ ♪ DON’T YOU? ♪ ♪ Spend all your money online ♪ ♪ ONLINE ♪ Babu, if you were a pornstar, then what would your name be? Wut? Shavita Bhabhi… or Chhee-ya Khalifa? Your YouTube career may or may not work, but you would be a great chabicurist. You can trim all the customers’ nails like this. Open your legs for Mamta didi. There is so much darkness in the cave, looks like no one has said “Open Sesame” for years. Arrey didi, at least change the strip. Aye! For years you’ve been coming here wearing this ancestral underwear, did I ever say to you, “Srishti, change your underwear”? And when BuzzFeed keeps recycling the same format 480 times, did I ever say, “BuzzFeed, change your format”? I am Mamta didi, MAMTA DIDI. NOT CH*TIYA DIDI. ‘SCUAZE ME! Your internalised misogyny is not kyuat, okay? On Instagram, I look at Disha Patani and feel insecure. At home, my mother keeps telling me, “You’ve become fat, no one will marry you.” The trolls on the internet keep saying something. In real life, my boyfriend keeps on saying something. I come to you with all these insecurities, and you make money out of all that? Yes, I have a lot of hair. I have used a razor, and yeah, I am a little bit overweight. So? It’s on my body, right? I have eyes. I can see it. What joy do you get in pointing out these obvious things? I don’t want your bogus products. I don’t know why I always come back here like an idiot. Agreed. I agree that we’re both victims of the same toxic, patriarchal conditioning. But isn’t this parlour meant to be a safe space? Here, we both are women. Support me at least here. There are already men out there who want to fool us. But no. You want to crap all over my self-esteem as well. Compliment me sometime at least, didi. Like… Mamta didi, your hair is so silky and so smooth… just like men’s career trajectory. Babu, even I love your straight hair. Thanks. That’s nice. Very nice. Very nice. Very nice. Very nice. Very nice. – Very nice.
– Very nice. Here’s the bill. Okay. Only one hundred six thousand ninety nine rupees. Thank you. The next time you come here, make sure you get roasted by Mamta didi, okay? Okay. Bye, my child. Bye. What happened? There’s just a small hair left there… Arrey, what didi? I’ll come back again. Bye. Bye babu. Actually, just remove it.