Having Sex Through the Border Wall – Jeff Ross Roasts the Border


Brownsville, Texas.
Look at this place. It’s like you guys got to 1958
and said, “[Bleep] it.” [ Laughter and applause ] “[Bleep] it. We’re good.” Yeah, man.
I love it down here. You know, I actually
have roots down here. I got roots with the cartels. That’s right, I’m el Chapo’s
Jewish cousin, el Cheapo. Brownsville is a heck
of a town, man. You guys really… it’s a beautiful place,
beautiful people, but it’s hard here, man. I can’t imagine living in a town with a fence running
right through my town. I got lonely last night. I went on Tinder, and I swipe with somebody
on the other side of the wall. That’s the biggest [Bleep]
block in history. I didn’t let that stop us,
though. 3:00 a.m., we met over there
by the bushes. We both kind of pressed up
against the wall, and I entered her illegally. [ Laughter ] And we had a three-way
with an armadillo. The armadillo is here tonight.
What’s up, buddy? How you doing, man? Look at the size of this guy.
How you doing, brother? Wow.
What are you celebrating? Cinco de mayonnaise? Damn.
This guy. Thanks for coming off
the wall, Humpty. I appreciate you, man. Where my Border Patrol at? [ Scattered cheers and whistles
from rear ] [ Laughter ] Let me give the Border Patrol
a little advice. If you want to catch people
coming into the country illegally, don’t write “Border Patrol”
across your truck. Write “Cold beer and free
blow jobs” in Spanish. See if business doesn’t
pick up a little bit. Now I hear they want to add
5,000 more Border Patrol. 5,000 more,
can you imagine that? At that point,
they won’t need a wall. They can just stand arm-to-arm
and form a human wall. Red rover, red rover,
don’t let Pedro come over. I came down to Brownsville
because this is the front line of the immigration war
in America right now. I’m here out of solidarity. I don’t want people
around America to not know how hard this struggle is, so, you know, the situation
is very [Bleep] up right now. I heard yesterday, they deported
an 8-year-old Guatemalan girl and her three kids. [ Laughter ] I’m all about bringing
people together. Fences keep people apart. Personally, I don’t think
we need a wall. I don’t think we need a wall
for $21 billion. $21 billion dollars
to build a wall right there. For that kind of money, we could
send everybody in Mexico $1,000 to stay there. “No come-o Estados Unidos,
por favor?” “No problem, [Bleep].” But on the bright side, the Olympic Mexican
pole-vaulting team is number one
in the world right now.

29 Comments

  1. the king of roasts 😂

  2. Jeff Ross needs to make a come back hes a comedic boss

  3. "I'm rich, self employed, and live in a gated community. We don't need a wall"

  4. MAGA 2020. Keep building the wall.

  5. This is hilarious I want them to give him a Netflix special

  6. This was awesome haha

  7. Here's a classic.

    Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

    Because everybody who can run jump and swim is already in America. 🏌

  8. This guy makes me literally lol

  9. I wish he knew that illegal immigrants cost the us 150 billion each year to deal with

  10. He knows how to make anyone laugh such a great comedian

  11. Jeff Ross is funny!! He’s also terribly misinformed. We have to have the wall. Still gave a thumbs up because although I don’t agree w the message, it’s funny!! We can agree to disagree

  12. well done.

  13. #BuildBridgesNotWalls #FearIsTheProblem #theyvotedforaBigot

  14. 2:50 That’s the most fake applause I’ve ever heard, you’re better than that CC

  15. FK, that FAKE laugh track is pure Cringe.

  16. lol

  17. It was pretty good until it got close to the 3 minute mark. Then he did what most entertainers do, he assumed we wanted his opinion on politics.

  18. #MAKEAMERICAGREATAGAIN

  19. Not to funny no more

  20. when I imagined a wall I pictured staggered militarized concrete towers with pill box tops and mounted crowd controll guns over looking the wall, each tower bristling with lights, cameras, speakers, relays, transmitters, antenna, billboards, propaganda, graffitti and municipal signs, with taco trucks and chimichanga stands and tent booths against the wall, some exclusively selling shovels, extendable ladders, grappling hooks and climbing rope.

  21. So is this a cartel town? Or are they ignorant of the upscaling violence, mass murders, and body-incineration ovens on the other side of that wall?

  22. Jeff ross is a hack comedian so his political opinions are irrelevant. But if he really doesn't want a wall or a border why doesn't he live in Mexico and spout off from there? Oh that's right, he's a hypocrite.

  23. Jeff Ross is the albino Homer Simpson

  24. Trash

  25. Sounds like Rick. If Rick had sex through a borderwall

  26. Throw me a bone comedy central…I live in mcallen…a legally blind comedian…love ya

  27. Could do without the weight stigma. Nasty crowd work. Your material is too good for that bottom barrel stuff.

  28. OF course he doesn't want a wall, he wants Mexico to elect our next president.

  29. Is it just me or most American comedies aren't very funny…maybe it's because I'm Nigeria, our comedies are next level…

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